Who am i ?

I am reading so many things now a days, as i am a bit bored and don't have many things to do. There was a time, not so much ago, when i was a vector: direction, adress and purpose. All my mind, soul and body was dedicated to achieve something and i felt me wonderfull. I felt me... plenty. Never got so much of myself as when i am obsesed with something, and never get so little of me. And as the task finished, done other undone, i feel me quite lost and empty.
Today i read this text and really liked. And that's why it appears in this blog of me.
" You dream that with memories will come knowledge, and from knowledge understanding.
But for every answer you find a new thousand questions rise. All that we were led us to where we are, but tells us little of where we're going. Memories are a weight you never shrug off. "

An interesting text. And a confusing one. I am but myself again... really ? I feel me like having a second teenager time. I am strong, learning a lot, discovering the world and myself... and at the same time i am so confused. There are two themes that fascinates me, sex and death. Tipical themes of teenagers, if you mind. But at the same time i am almost 30 and have lived so many things, i am not an unexperienced person trying to reach it's limits. I know where they are and i play with them, with menace, patience but also a risky look. It's like one of the many characters that compose my personality, other maybe two, are taking the lead of the common ship for a time and asking for atention. I feel me so identified with " mutter " song from Rammstein. That feeling of loneliness, of... hunger for love. And at the same time, i smile. Cause every sunrise it's a wonder in itself and the world is a big apple waiting for me to bite it. So, what will lead me life ? Can my memories of what i am, of what i was, and what i could be bring me knowledge ? And could someone ever understand me, when not even me does it ?
Time will show. But today... today i just wanna be. Have great times and, eh, thanks to Luis for standing up by me even when i am a toothpain like now :-)
And a last note. I miss my helly friend. Remenbering... always remenbering

Ale ( not prosi. Not now ).