I am losting my favourite skin

I have just arrived to Madrid and i am a little bit dizzy. I haven't sleep enough and i was worried about meeting Maria, with all this feeling of unreality that produces me listen spanish again as something usual and notice that there is no bulgarians all around.
I miss it someway. And i know i will miss it sometimes. It isn't like this feeling when came back from Greece, " what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas ". This is another thing. That evil woman... i had a list of the things that i am gonna miss of her. There crazy laughs, the shine of her eyes, the way she walks, the errres so strong that she pronounces. Her incredible skill to know what's the best for me even when i don't know. Her generousity. Yesterday we had a familiar lunch but it was just people of our age. I hadn't ever have such a good one, she is so kind and good for details... i am a disaster in all this things and it's something that envy. I laughed so much with her neurosis when i didn't waited where i was supposed to. I can't forget her for don't speak me clear, for wait until the very last moment to give me the only thing that i really needed, an embrace and the words " you don't know how much i am gonna miss you ". Probably it's a lie, but i needed to listen and i have come back with the idea that it has been too much. Everything. The places, the people, the things, the... i have lived a full life in four days. And now i am empty, weak, without skin that protects my feelings of everything and i just want to sleep and regenerate my armour. I don't know if we will ever meet, if we will keep friends as always other everything will be different... but now i don't want to think. I am just a little bit out of myself and want to rest and enjoy. Play videogames, read, lie in a sofa. And then back to life, i will try going this weekend to Tarifa to meet my friends, friday i have russian lesson, thursday there is an exam of english. And life goes and goes on, and i want to take pictures, smile and cry, and save this moments and names in my life forever: raya, martin, radi, toni, maria, ivan, aleksander nevski, national teatr, art hostel, bulevar vitosha, tranvai... and feelings, feelings, feelings, until i think that i cannot feel anymore. Thanks :-) For show me the hole that i have in my soul and, even when cannot fill it, be after Karen and Carol the ka that my soul needed. Thanks.